Story by Henrik TuxenNote: Dutch to English translation.

 Original story can be found here.
Out of the tragedy at Roskilde

in 2000 has grown a warm and lasting friendship between rock star and

relatives
Ten years ago, specifically on 30 June 2000, did

the unthinkable. Nine young men died at the Roskilde Festival in front

of Orange Stage during the Pearl Jam concert. An unbelievable tragedy

that has cast long, dark shadows behind him. But in the midst of

darkness, close and warm friendship blossomed between Pearl Jam

guitarist Stone Gossard and the parents of one of the Swedish victims.
Ebbe

and Birgitta Gustafsson accidentally drove past Roskilde 30 June 2000

in the evening on their way home early from a holiday in Germany, due to

bad weather. They neither knew that their son was at the festival, much

less the catastrophic accident he was in the center of. Since their

local priest days after bringing over the fatal message, broke the world

together for the couple from Tranås in central Sweden. Like eight other

parents, their lives, that fateful day, changed forever. Not least

thanks to their strong Christian faith, the family has steadfastly

worked through the accident and came back to life, partly can read in

their fine book After Roskilde - från Christian reconciliation from

2003.
The doorbell rings
At about the same

time, in 2003, the Pearl Jam guitarist Stone Gossard realized that he

must react. He feels that he has to relate to the accident and to the

relatives if they might be interested in meeting him. Until then, the

dialogue between Pearl Jam and the relatives have been limited to one

contact with lead singer Eddie Vedder and the relatives of an Australian

victim, Anthony Hurley and a sporadic email correspondence between

Vedder and a few Danish families. But Stone Gossard could not live with

the silence, and in November 2003 he traveled and his girlfriend Liz, to

Copenhagen and visited the next few weeks parents and / or friends for

five of the six Scandinavian victims. And a late Tuesday evening rang

the doorbell at 3 in Regnvädersgatan Tranås. A meeting that would prove

to be the germ of a close, warm and lasting friendship began.
Birgitta

Gustafsson: - It made a very strong impression on us that he had

traveled all the way from USA to visit us. I remember that I was

terribly nervous. I did not know how he looked and thought that now

there will be a long-haired rock star in the door (after years with

soldatercut have Stone once again left it long yarn grow, Ed.), But he

was quite ordinary, it was like to He was one of us. It was an

unforgettable evening, he made a strong impression. It was evident that

he was a warm, loving and open person, that we understood immediately.

Although we met on the basis of a sorrow, it was an extremely positive

meeting. I felt from the outset that this was a meeting that would be of

great importance in the future, both for him and for us. I asked

already the first day to get his address, which I got. I still have

saved the note he wrote the address down.
Birgitta

positive impression was more than reciprocated, elaborates Gossard to

GAFFA in connection with 10 anniversary.
Stone Gossard: - I

can not thank Ebbe and Birgitta enough for the kindness and the love

they have shown me. There are very few times in life when you meet

someone with such a loving and spiritual presence. Birgitta openness and

love has had a significant impact on me. I think we both have touched

each other in an unexpected and beautiful way. And it has come out of

tragedy, every parent’s nightmare. I am very grateful to her.
Vacuum
The

friendship between Gossard and Gustaf Johnson is a very special

character, which of course is closely linked to the memory of deceased

family son.
Birgitta: - We greatly appreciate his

friendship. Think about that with his large entourage will continue to

have contact with us. Carl-Johan can never be replaced, he was our son,

but Stone fills a portion of the vacuum. It’s the feeling I have, which

is reinforced in the warmth and love he always expresses when we mailer

is on Skype or meet.
I have met in the light of a tragedy.

Ripping it up in the wounds to keep in touch?
Birgitta: -

No, no, quite the contrary. We are a support and care from him as

soothe our grief, it’s always good to have contact with. This applies

both when we mailer, meet or see Pearl Jam play.
Same

position gives Pearl Jam guitarist reflects:
Stone: -

Bridget and I have seen each other several times now. She comes to our

shows, and she meets the band, we share meals, and the mailer together.

After each session, we share how grateful we are for each other, all in

while we continue to heal from the biggest form of loss. From the first

meeting we started a friendship that is alive and kicking today. Our

common spirituality and openness to each other has been a big part of my

own healing, and I am enormously grateful for her love and forgiveness.

It has helped me to feel and accept the tragedy of loss, without losing

hope of goodness in the world.
Have you found a second

peace today with what happened that day?
Stone: - Everyone

in the band - and everyone who works with us - experienced tragedy at

Roskilde very strong. It is always with us. It can be very intense to

feel, realize and see the past in the eyes. But we have each done in our

own way, and we will always continue to do. We want to communicate

between us and the families must always be open. The time and the many

positive meetings with the families helped in the healing process, but I

can not say that I have found peace with the accident.
Pearl

Jam Live
There has been something of a revolution taking

place in relation to Birgitta’s view of Pearl Jam and their music. First

it was involuntary noises from teenage room, now she can even clap with

the audience.
Birgitta: - Pearl Jam was Carl-Johan’s

favorite band, that was why he went to Roskilde. He played them

constantly high from inside the room and I thought often that he might

hear something more quiet and relaxing music. But today I understand his

values and enthusiasm much better. We are more to the more subdued and

quiet, so Pearl Jam is thus never "our" music, but they have many fine

songs and then it is vehemently to see them live. It has also been a

great experience to meet the others in the band, I see them as very

likeable and humble man. We also know that they are people who are

making great efforts in more humanistic and philanthropic relationships,

including in environmental cases and that they all in working order and

help create a better and fairer world. They are not people who put

themselves in front, but doing what they can to help others. When we got

to the concert in Paris took Eddie (Vedder, ed.) Against us in the

warmest way. He showed us pictures of his little daughter (he now has

two little girls, Ed.) And said that he could not imagine what he would

do or how he would react if there was to be her thing. The band fit

really well for us and let us stand on the side of the stage. Here from

Eddie dedicated the entire concert for the family Gustafsson and they

played the song I wanted - Thumbing My Way. When we were coming into the

car which was driving us to the hotel, we could still hear Pearl Jam,

who played Yellow Ledbetter as the last encore. But suddenly confronted

Eddie big sweaty in front of us. He was over the stage during the

concert, to say goodbye to us. All in all a gesture and a caring meant a

great deal for us.
Are there some songs specially hard to

hear? There are indications that things went very wrong at Roskilde in

Better Mon
Birgitta: - Yes, I will spare it a thought when

the song plays. It was probably the last as Carl-Johan heard.
The

audience reaction is generally very heavily on Pearl Jam. Can not

awaken unpleasant memories that stand in the audience when it goes wild

for it?
Birgitta: - The band has such a positive aura when

they play that it rubs off on the audience, it is primarily positive

enthusiasm. But, yes, I do not like when it gets too wild. In Paris and

in London we had VIP seats and was somewhat shielded the crowd pushing

and shoving. In Copenhagen, we saw it a little more, and it was a little

uncomfortable. I do not like that there will stage divet, so I look the

other way and do not really want to stand in the audience during a

festival appearance. But I know that Pearl Jam has a much stricter

security alert, so it gives a greater sense of security.
New

security procedures
It was in many ways paradoxical that

for all was Pearl Jam who were involved in the accident, when the band

even before the concert had launched a major security alert before and

during their concerts settlement. After Roskilde band announced that

they would never again play festivals again. That testimony has now

changed, but only when their own security measures are followed through.
Stone

(sec found by Pearl Jam Head of Security at that time and today, Pete

Beattle):
- Before Roskilde was our standard operating

procedure in relation to playing festivals, to accept a festival

operational and safety procedures. Bands were seen as "just performers"

and had traditionally not much to say over safety procedures in the same

way as their own shows. After Roskilde, this has changed completely for

us. We have tightened the standards for safety at the same level as for

our own shows. Our contracts with the festivals’ highlights our

operational requirements are not met, there will be no contract if they

are not being complied with in practice, we are not on stage. We demand

the right to evaluate all operational and security policies in advance,

such as design and configuration of barriers and security response

procedures in relation to ensuring our fans’ safety. It includes

pro-active pre-assessments in the following areas:
command

structure for festival security
adequacy and appropriate

placement of EMTs (Emergency Medical Technician)
types of

barricades, configuration and deployment
securely sale of

alcohol
capacity
entry and transition

procedures
procedures to stop the concerts
Knew

nothing amiss
All sizes as Pearl Jam had no control over

the fateful evening of Square Cattle Show in 2000. A concert which

seemed like everyone else, the band heard no alarm bells ringing in

advance.
Stone: - We had no idea that there were some

problems before our tour manager came on stage and told us that

something was wrong. I felt like a blow. I felt an overwhelming sense of

shock when it dawned on me that people were trampled to death and that

people were lifted over the barricade was dead. All who attended were as

stunned; this had occurred. Afterwards we sat and stared at each other

in the hotel, frightened and shocked.
It is impossible to

rewind the clock back, but there was something I could have done to

prevent what occurred?
Stone: - If there was anything I

could have done to predict what the happened, I wish that I could have

avoided it. So I regret that not all affected families got a helping

hand from us immediately after the accident. It was not enough to ensure

this through the media and our international contacts.
Why

was there so long as three years before you decided to visit the

affected families?
Stone: - We tried to express our

availability to all families immediately after the tragedy but were not

established any real connection. At the time I figured that it was

because of the general chaos and everyone’s shock. But I later realized

that some families have tried to reach out to us, even then, without

success. I have always regretted. Then there was the fact that some

early press reaction was that we had inspired the audience to this

behavior and that we bore a large share of the blame. I think it was

after that we all began to pull us back. Eddie was the first established

connection with one of the families. He spent some days with Hurley

family from Australia, where he wept with them and how he recognized and

felt the intensity of their losses. I was inspired by the courage and

the love he showed, which led me out on my own journey. So three years

after the accident I reached out to you, Harry, who himself stood on

stage during the concert, and got, with your gracious help, contacted a

number of families and other relatives, and offered to meet with them if

they were interested. I am so grateful for all the families who have

shared their memories, pictures, grief and anger. Nothing could have

been more profound than their dignity and openness during these visits.

All families were still stunned, here three years later. But they opened

their hospitable doors and had me as a guest. I will never forget how

powerful this experience was. We did not share so many words, and you,

Henrik, did your best as a translator. I tried to convey our bands

despair and recognition of their losses. Perhaps it helped my visit at a

small way.
Roskilde and relatives
More

families had both before and after the Stones’ visit had contact with

festival directors, and not all with the best experience.
Stone:

- I can only say that most families that I spoke to various reasons,

had not been satisfied with the way in which the festival handled the

tragedy’s aftermath. Some felt that they should have taken more

responsibilities, some felt that they should have taken legal

responsibility for the accident. This is an important issue that should

be answered by each family, since everyone has their own experiences of

contact with the Roskilde Festival and their representatives.
Do

you think the festival should not assume legal responsibility for the

accident?
Stone: - I think that when people around you are

injured or die, then you need to recognize your role, honestly and

completely identify and learn from your mistakes, and implement

standards for preventing that something similar could occur again .
With

God’s help
Several families have brought lawsuits to get

the festival to accept legal responsibility for the accident without

success. The outcome was that the accident was caused by a series of

unpredictable events that can not be attributed to the festival’s

responsibility alone. This has caused great bitterness and sorrow in

many families. Here Gustaf’s been a little outside. Although they feel

for the families who have followed the long and exhausting litigation,

they have initially chosen a different path, mainly due to their strong

Christian faith.
Birgitta: - Belief in God has always been

an important part of our lives and was a huge consolation when

Carl-Johan died. He kept us in our life most difficult days. The Bible

teaches us to forgive those people who have made us ill and reconcile

ourselves with them. We do not think that security was in order and

still think that the festival had a responsibility and that it was their

fault, but we nevertheless chose to forgive them. We think that there

is a difference between forgive and to say that it was ok, what

occurred. We decided to forgive to move forward. The second will be for

us like going backwards in life. Our choices and our faith has helped us

move forward in life.
Before meeting with Stone was in

contact with Leif Skov (former festival director, Ed.). How was it?
Birgitta:

- It was hard but important to meet. We told him that we would forgive

and reconcile with him and the festival, which they know. As a festival,

we believe that they have a responsibility to people not getting hurt.

There were difficult circumstances, there was rain, poor sound, but

still rests a responsibility on the management. When Leif Skov visited

us, he showed us the new security procedures were implemented. "Yes,

that’s fine" I thought, "it’s just a year too late." But it was still

good to meet and be reconciled to Leif Skov.
Books and

lectures
In 2003 came after Roskilde - från Christian

reconciliation, the book where the ebb and Birgitta Gustafsson tells his

story to journalist Jonathan Sverker. Through the years ebb and

Birgitta given a series of lectures, including in churches, where they

told their stories and their way of living with their fate.
Birgitta:

- The book was written as it maybe could help others in similar

difficult situations, where life is hard. The main point is that there

is a light at the horizon, it is possible to move forward. We have often

been asked out for a lecture on the background of the book. It’s been

hard but very rewarding and life-affirming. We have had many contacts

here through which we appreciate. It has been hard to be through the

process to write the book, and to keep the many lectures, but it has

helped to help others, and it has been the most important. But there is

also a limit, we do not actively pursue it myself, but it takes up for

consideration when we are asked to give lectures.
See

Venice ...
Birgitta, Ebbe and their daughter Sandra (and

the last couple of times also her fiance John) saw Pearl Jam in Paris,

2006, Copenhagen 2007, London in 2009 and soon the trip to Italy.
Birgitta:

- Yes, it is quite amazing. Stone has invited us all to Venice in

connection with Pearl Jam’s concert in the city. He pays residence,

plane and everything. It becomes an experience of a lifetime.
Originally,

Stone invited Gustaf Johnson to Berlin, but Pearl Jam’s concert in town

takes place on the tenth day of the accident, and it was too much for

Bridget.
Birgitta: - No, I did not want to Berlin on the

anniversary. It is always very heavy for me and I did not want to see

Pearl Jam on one day I associate with mourning. It is different with

Ebbe, for him all day just in that respect. But we have a tradition to

make a little trip around the anniversary. We will put a wreath a

garland of red roses shaped like a heart on Carl-Johan’s grave every

year.
A blessing and a privilege
And as I

say is Pearl Jam on stage 30 June 2010 in Berlin, the 10 anniversary of

the accident, which guitarist summarize as follows:
Stone:

- It is impossible to escape from the past. All families are still

suffering terribly at the loss of their children. I hope to acknowledge

the past and honor those who died and those of their lost loved ones. As

a band we feel the loss still significant and we hope and pray that

time will reduce and transform the pain.
And Stones

helping hand has actually helped, not least, Gustafsson family in their

great sorrow.
It is a bit of an upheaval that has taken

place in your relationship with Pearl Jam. What do you think Carl-Johan

would say if he sits and looks into Heaven?
Birgitta: - He

would probably say "bra morsan! He would laugh and smile and could see

that I have changed me. He would be happy for our contact, and perhaps a

little jealous! One day when I sat and talked with Stone, I said "Think

if he sits and looks at us now?" It was a very intense moment.
One

of many examples of a cohesion and a friendship which, on a sad

background, has led people with totally different backgrounds, very

close together; rock star through two decades, Stone Gossard, and office

assistant Birgitta Gustafsson from Tranås in central Sweden. A

community that also include the rest of Pearl Jam and Bridget’s family.
Birgitta:

- We have only encountered positive reactions from the world than our

relationship with Pearl Jam, though many might not fully understand what

we feel and experience. But even though Stone is a big rock star, he is

quite common when it comes to human contact. We cherish our deep

friendship, and we want to preserve it. We know many who have lost a

child, but we have had this contact with Stone, and for it we feel

blessed and privileged.
Roskilde accident and Pearl Jam:
Three

of the victims were Swedish, three Danish, a German, a Dutchman and an

Australian
Pearl Jam has handed out to all the families

affected
Pearl Jam was in a period of ’90s biggest rock

band. They have released nine studio albums, a "Greatest Hits" and a

double "rarity" compilation, released a sea of live concerts, has made

several DVDs and have sold over 60 million records. Last went

"Backspacer" # 1 in U.S. in 2009.
Pearl Jam has always

been heavily involved in various humanitarian and philanthropic work,

this applies to not least, Stone Gossard
Stone Gossard

visit in Scandinavia are described in the book "The Pearl Jam’s

footsteps - before and after Roskilde" from this writer.